Into this night I wander
it's morning that I dread
another day of knowing of
the path I fear to tread
-Possesion
another day of knowing of
the path I fear to tread
-Possesion
It just something else that i can't explain.
...
anyways
i'm excited
wed,and Thursday.
XD
So I Joseph has Swine Flu.
well that is what Kaiser said, but they also said that every flu is swine. or maybe they are treating every flu as if it was swine flu,
he is the ONE person that I was praying wouldn't get it.
hes 4, during the winter his Asthma gets really bad.
so I hope that we caught it before it manifests into anything
he looks so sad right now, curled up on the couch watching elf
poor baby.
lets hope for the best.
No one's ever turned you over
No one's tried
To ever let you down,
Beautiful girl
Bless your heart
-Disease
To ever let you down,
Beautiful girl
Bless your heart
-Disease
I <3 glee.
i can never say it enough.
Last night i got wrapped into babysitting 4 kids
all under 10.
well 9,8,5,1
the 1 year old woke up and wouldnt go back to sleep and I had like hw today
made me really see what it would be like to have a small child
I wouldnt be able to get anything done.
anways
its good
I feel kinda, hmm isolated?
I miss hanging out with friends, I havnt dont it in awhile.
granted I have been sick for the past 6 days.
ironic huh?
6 day break and I started feeling like crap when I got home last thursday night.
wellll
its 1pm
i'm starving
taco bell?
i just want something to do until 4.
I dont think I can sit here on the computer.
i can never say it enough.
Last night i got wrapped into babysitting 4 kids
all under 10.
well 9,8,5,1
the 1 year old woke up and wouldnt go back to sleep and I had like hw today
made me really see what it would be like to have a small child
I wouldnt be able to get anything done.
anways
its good
I feel kinda, hmm isolated?
I miss hanging out with friends, I havnt dont it in awhile.
granted I have been sick for the past 6 days.
ironic huh?
6 day break and I started feeling like crap when I got home last thursday night.
wellll
its 1pm
i'm starving
taco bell?
i just want something to do until 4.
I dont think I can sit here on the computer.
They said I can't rap about bein' broke no more
They ain't say I can't rap about coke no more
(AHHH!) Slut, you think I won't choke no whore
'til the vocal cords don't work in her throat no more?!
(AHHH!) These motherfuckers are thinkin, I'm playin
-Kill You
(AHHH!) Slut, you think I won't choke no whore
'til the vocal cords don't work in her throat no more?!
(AHHH!) These motherfuckers are thinkin, I'm playin
-Kill You
I forget that I'm going to have another half sibling
I totally forgot until my mom talked to my dad and she told me when the expected due date is and how they aren't going to know the sex of the child until its born.
It really sickens me when i think about it.
He doesn't deserve to have another child.
I'm hope its not a girl
but at the same time I hope its not a boy
why should he get a another chance at raising a child?
he already has 3.
so this kid wont get abused?
this kid wont have their Dad in jail and then not part of their life?
its fucked up
i guess i have a lot of Anger.
Madness the magnet keeps attracting me, me.
I try to run, but see I’m not that fast.
I think I’m first but surely finish last, last.
-Day N Nite
I try to run, but see I’m not that fast.
I think I’m first but surely finish last, last.
-Day N Nite
2 weeks with out glee
sad sad sad.
hella days with out a cell phone
sad sad sad
not hearing back from target
okay?
I'm taking it as a sign rather then something negative.
Something is just telling me that it's not a good idea to work there
I think I'm going to peruse a mall job.
Mother works in the mall, way easier.
Saturday will be a month sober.
wasn't a planned goal but I guess its cool
I still wanna get fucked up
uhh...yeah
oh i hecka want to go to Sacramento this weekend.
so i'm pretty pissed/bummed about Halloween.
It really sucks when you go from having plans to having none at all.
people are dumb and i'm sick of it
i want to have fun
but whatever
It really sucks when you go from having plans to having none at all.
people are dumb and i'm sick of it
i want to have fun
but whatever
Movin' right along.
Footloose and fancy-free.
Getting there is half the fun; come share it with me.
Moving right along (doog-a-doon doog-a-doon).
We'll learn to share the load.
We don't need a map to keep this show on the road.
-Movin Right Along
Footloose and fancy-free.
Getting there is half the fun; come share it with me.
Moving right along (doog-a-doon doog-a-doon).
We'll learn to share the load.
We don't need a map to keep this show on the road.
-Movin Right Along
hello
i'm okay
not super
i'm like Mother bear's porridge in the Three Little Bears,
haha
I have a Job Interview on Friday :]
hope that goes well
I too love love funny/epic conversations on facebook XD.
-dont like new facebook layout but I tweaked it.
i'm just hoping for the best with this job thing
its not a license BUT my state ID is in the mail.
annd yeah nothing else
i'm broke but thats not new
As I make my way through the century,
As I slowly turn to house dust,
Tumbling down,
The rain comes down like a victory,
In sheets of shining memory,
Over and over,
Circling around
-Rain City
Nothing really new?As I slowly turn to house dust,
Tumbling down,
The rain comes down like a victory,
In sheets of shining memory,
Over and over,
Circling around
-Rain City
I'm not sure about anything though I know what I'm doing.
It kinda sucks when a close friend makes you feel bad about yourself
She really hurt me with her words.
and she has no Idea, I mean I tried to tell her.
I think what hurt the most is her insulting my mom.
I mean how dare she say that my mom isent taking good care of me OR that i'm not learning any life skills from her.
all because I dont have a job or drive a car yet?
I mean can you see why that hurts?
I love my mom to death, she is the only parent I have and she is doing all she can to raise me and my brothers.
I think she forgot that my mom is the only parent in the household and there are 3 kids
i'm sorry i'm ranting, this should be directed at her.
I'm just frustrated with the situation, and it just gets difficult because she wont listen to my reasons. she just thinks there excuses.
I miss REAL friends.
like friends who are there for you
friends that dont judge you, and if they do they dont say it to your face
friends that give you constructive criticism and know how to help you out.
I feel like truthfully I have one friend here in windsor that I can truely go to if Im having an issue. She is always there for me.
ive graduated
i'm sick of high school bullshit
drama makers
back stabbers
womanizers
fuck this.
hahaha
oh and on top of it all
our direct TV is being dumb , Its not letting us veiw our basic channels like FOX and NBC. the low ones. haha
I might not be able to watch glee at 9 on wednesday. ahhaha
sounds dumb but when its the only highlight of my week I dont want to miss it.
i mean yes I can watch it on thrusday at school but its not the same
dont laugh, you dont understand.
i think i'm done with his post
it wasnt going to be this long but oh well.
You Got Me Goin'
You're oh so Charmin'
But I can't do it
You Womanizer
-Womanizer
You're oh so Charmin'
But I can't do it
You Womanizer
-Womanizer
I mean always and forever Adam will be the one I will call Womanizer. haha XD
but
I think I know someone else who can fit the criteria.
but yeah.
i'm not gunna go there.
it's not worth it.
If hes not looking for anything than I'm not going to invest more than I have.
I need to focus on me.
This ain't a song for the brokenhearted
No silent prayer for the faith departed
And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud
-It's my life
No silent prayer for the faith departed
And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud
-It's my life
Truthfully I'm really happy the week is almost over
It's just been a crappy week and I really havnt enjoyed much of it.
Monday was the worst day I've had in forever.
It just kept going from bad to worse
I'm just all blahh right now
I want Saturday to be here <3
I hope I can get things figured out.
currently i'm in the Library
waiting until 830
If I knew my mom had to work late I would of arraged a ride or attempted the bus, haha.
oh well
i'm just super tired
emotionaly drained
and really hungry
I just dont eat on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
haha.
oh have i mentioned I <3 glee?
seriously its the highlight of my week.
i'm not useing firefox at the moment so spelling isent getting corrected, so sorry about the mistakes I really am to tire to go back and corrent.
It's just been a crappy week and I really havnt enjoyed much of it.
Monday was the worst day I've had in forever.
It just kept going from bad to worse
I'm just all blahh right now
I want Saturday to be here <3
I hope I can get things figured out.
currently i'm in the Library
waiting until 830
If I knew my mom had to work late I would of arraged a ride or attempted the bus, haha.
oh well
i'm just super tired
emotionaly drained
and really hungry
I just dont eat on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
haha.
oh have i mentioned I <3 glee?
seriously its the highlight of my week.
i'm not useing firefox at the moment so spelling isent getting corrected, so sorry about the mistakes I really am to tire to go back and corrent.
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief, Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
-Somebody To Love
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief, Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
-Somebody To Love
I have nothing really to say
things are crazy more likke bad at home
knot is still present it my tummy.
I want that to leave.
ew.
oh yeah my phone is off.
i'm poor.
this is my life right now=jfglkfdjlkgfdjslkgjdflkgjdlkfg and i'm not exaggerating anything
:(
if I could sleep forever
I could forget about everything
-Sleep
I could forget about everything
-Sleep
I feel so dirty
so filthy
like a sleaze.
like a whore
is that bad?
It's all my fault
I didn't have control
I just let it happen
I know who I really am
I'm not like that sober
but when i'm drunk things just happen and I make mistakes.
no im not talking about sex,
god if that was what I was talking about I think I would just spend all day in the shower trying to scrub the filth off of me.
my stomach is in one big knot
and i just feel so dirty.
I just want it to go away.
- Mood:
ewwww
Let's get this party started
Let's keep them 40's poppin
So just get buzzed and stay fucked up
We'll keep them panties droppin
-Everywhere I go
Let's keep them 40's poppin
So just get buzzed and stay fucked up
We'll keep them panties droppin
-Everywhere I go
Well shit i feel like shit.
it was a gooooood night
I had soo much fun.
hahaha
but me and my friend Alcohol arn't going to see each other for awhile.
i need to get my shit together
and stop drinking
and doing shit that I don't like
When i'm sober i'm like "Oh i'll never do that again"
but when i get drunk i dont really think and I end up just letting things happen.
yeah.
ew
?
Little hellions, kids feelin' rebellious
Embarrassed, their parents still listen to Elvis
They start feelin' like prisoners, helpless,
'Till someone comes along on a mission and yells "BITCH!"
Embarrassed, their parents still listen to Elvis
They start feelin' like prisoners, helpless,
'Till someone comes along on a mission and yells "BITCH!"
-Without Me
SOO i'm at school
its my break
i'm just waiting
its to hot to go sit outside
i want to, but i'm not going to
I wish it was Wednesday, I want to watch glee.
i got a free soda from taco bell today, which was cool.
i'm really tired
I want to sleep
BUT can't
I'm excited for this weekend
maybe get to see BRENDA
and another friend who lives just 2 hours south of here(and over aways..i think.)
that would make me happy
its my break
i'm just waiting
its to hot to go sit outside
i want to, but i'm not going to
I wish it was Wednesday, I want to watch glee.
i got a free soda from taco bell today, which was cool.
i'm really tired
I want to sleep
BUT can't
I'm excited for this weekend
maybe get to see BRENDA
and another friend who lives just 2 hours south of here(and over aways..i think.)
that would make me happy
waiting for Art
I hope it's fun
if it's a bore I will fall asleep
oh man I think we have slides
shit
haha
I got a text on my phone
asking something about if my mom was home
Idk who it was. I responded saying what I knew.
I think its my mom's friend
haha idk It could be a stalker I would never know.
haha ok I think i'm done for now.
I'll be your girl, backstage at your show,
Velvet ropes and guitars, yeah 'cause you're my rockstar,
In between the sets, eyeliner and cigarettes
-Paparazzi
Velvet ropes and guitars, yeah 'cause you're my rockstar,
In between the sets, eyeliner and cigarettes
-Paparazzi
I'm better today
not pissed off anymore, haha.
Wellz I have school tomorrow
I really like my art class, Thursday was a good day, a lot of laughing.
HOUSE is on tonight!!!
yay
i fucking love that show.
House and glee are my shows this year.
glee=love
house=wish i was a hard ass who doesn't give a flying fuck.
excuse my language. i like the word fuck
OH ive been wearing TWO shoes.
i got so tired of the boot that i was like "NOPE"
yeah.
I'm okay
not super
just okay
Let me give my love to you
Let me take your hand
As we walk in the dimming light
Or darling understand
That everything, everything ends
That everything, everything ends
-Meet Me on the Equinox
Let me take your hand
As we walk in the dimming light
Or darling understand
That everything, everything ends
That everything, everything ends
-Meet Me on the Equinox
Sometimes people really piss me off
so let me be mad for a day or two.
too bad the people that actually care have moved away.
You treat me just like another stranger.
Well it's nice to meet you sir.
I'll guess I'll go.
I'll be best on my way out.
Ignorance is your new best friend.
-Ignorance
Well it's nice to meet you sir.
I'll guess I'll go.
I'll be best on my way out.
Ignorance is your new best friend.
I don't even know why I'm posting, I don't really have anything to say.
It's all really dumb.
denying myself
putting myself in that situation
doing stupid shit
regreting
being mad for no reason
well there is a reason because who needs drama?
wanting so much
getting so little
going from being content to being discontent in a matter of a day
wanting to be there for everyone
but i why should I help people when I can barly help myself.
its not that I'm living a lie
i just don't know whats real anymore.
hating my self image
never being strong enough to take that step
not being able to talk to people
i mean everybody
These are my twisted words
When I feel you still walking
I know I should not look down
But i'm so sick of just talking
-These are my twisted words
I am my own person When I feel you still walking
I know I should not look down
But i'm so sick of just talking
I make my own decsisons
I made the decsison to drop my English 1A class
though it may not be the right one
its the right one for me at the moment.
When i'm ready i'm ready, right now I am not
and the only person that needs to understand that is me.
I'm just stick of people telling me that I'm wrong
that i'm not making good choices.
well truthfully i'm tired of doing what other people want
I need to do what I want, and figure shit out for myself.
okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
right now I am at the JC in the library
just chilling
starving but to lazy to go to Taco Bell to get something to eat.
Did you know i'm in love with glee?
well if your asking yourself "What is glee?"
I suggest, you look it up on Hulu and watch it.
i'm okay
ive been really stressed and brain dead.
Well, I dreamt I saw you walking up a hillside in the snow
Casting shadows on the winter sky as you stood there counting crows.
-A Murder of One
Casting shadows on the winter sky as you stood there counting crows.
i just dont know anymore
I need to make my own choices and stop caring about what other people say, or think.
I need to drop English 1A and take it next semester, with a different teacher and maybe a friend in my class...
everyone tells me to stick out
but why stay in a class that i'm going to fail
i'm not motivated
the teacher is not what i like
i spend most of the class fighting to stay awake.
golly i dont know what to do.
When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
- Harder to breathe
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
lets just say okay
i'm so stressed
well not really
i'm just being lazy
i have SO much hw
and i guess stopping to post on LJ will help it get done faster.
I will not put this all off next time haha
opps
I need a BIG Drill Sargent to stand behind me to yell at me
well maybe not
he may just end up making me cry.
haha oh boyz
i'll post later when i'm done to say shit about me
this is just another form of me procrastinating on my hw.
I don't know what to say
i had fun.
I was hella sick all night but couldn't throw up, it's a horrible feelings.
I'm going to stay away from Jose Cuervo
haha did some things
haah
whatever, it was fun.
it doesn't help myself regretting what is in the past.
soo yeah haha
i had fun.
I was hella sick all night but couldn't throw up, it's a horrible feelings.
I'm going to stay away from Jose Cuervo
haha did some things
haah
whatever, it was fun.
it doesn't help myself regretting what is in the past.
soo yeah haha
