It just something else that i can't explain.

...

anyways

i'm excited
wed,and Thursday.
XD

So I Joseph has Swine Flu.
well that is what Kaiser said, but they also said that every flu is swine. or maybe they are treating every flu as if it was swine flu,
he is the ONE person that I was praying wouldn't get it.
hes 4, during the winter his Asthma gets really bad.

so I hope that we caught it before it manifests into anything

he looks so sad right now, curled up on the couch watching elf
poor baby.

lets hope for the best.

I forget that I'm going to have another half sibling
I totally forgot until my mom talked to my dad and she told me when the expected due date is and how they aren't going to know the sex of the child until its born.

It really sickens me when i think about it.
He doesn't deserve to have another child.

I'm hope its not a girl

but at the same time I hope its not a boy

why should he get a another chance at raising a child?

he already has 3.

so this kid wont get abused?
this kid wont have their Dad in jail and then not part of their life?

its fucked up

i guess i have a lot of Anger.

2 weeks with out glee
sad sad sad.

hella days with out a cell phone
sad sad sad

not hearing back from target
okay?

I'm taking it as a sign rather then something negative.

Something is just telling me that it's not a good idea to work there

I think I'm going to peruse a mall job.
Mother works in the mall, way easier.

Saturday will be a month sober.
wasn't a planned goal but I guess its cool
I still wanna get fucked up



uhh...yeah

oh i hecka want to go to Sacramento this weekend.

so i'm pretty pissed/bummed about Halloween.


It really sucks when you go from having plans to having none at all.

people are dumb and i'm sick of it


i want to have fun

but whatever

hello
i'm okay
not super

i'm like Mother bear's porridge in the Three Little Bears,
haha

I have a Job Interview on Friday :]
hope that goes well

I too love love funny/epic conversations on facebook XD.
-dont like new facebook layout but I tweaked it.

i'm just hoping for the best with this job thing

its not a license BUT my state ID is in the mail.


annd yeah nothing else
i'm broke but thats not new

Nothing really new?
I'm not sure about anything though I know what I'm doing.
It kinda sucks when a close friend makes you feel bad about yourself

She really hurt me with her words.
and she has no Idea, I mean I tried to tell her.

I think what hurt the most is her insulting my mom.
I mean how dare she say that my mom isent taking good care of me OR that i'm not learning any life skills from her.

all because I dont have a job or drive a car yet?

I mean can you see why that hurts?
I love my mom to death, she is the only parent I have and she is doing all she can to raise me and my brothers.

I think she forgot that my mom is the only parent in the household and there are 3 kids
i'm sorry i'm ranting, this should be directed at her.

I'm just frustrated with the situation, and it just gets difficult because she wont listen to my reasons. she just thinks there excuses.


I miss REAL friends.
like friends who are there for you
friends that dont judge you, and if they do they dont say it to your face
friends that give you constructive criticism and know how to help you out.

I feel like truthfully I have one friend here in windsor that I can truely go to if Im having an issue. She is always there for me.

ive graduated
i'm sick of high school bullshit
drama makers
back stabbers
womanizers

fuck this.

hahaha

oh and on top of it all
our direct TV is being dumb , Its not letting us veiw our basic channels like FOX and NBC. the low ones. haha

I might not be able to watch glee at 9 on wednesday. ahhaha

sounds dumb but when its the only highlight of my week I dont want to miss it.
i mean yes I can watch it on thrusday at school but its not the same

dont laugh, you dont understand.


i think i'm done with his post
it wasnt going to be this long but oh well.

I mean always and forever Adam will be the one I will call Womanizer. haha XD

but

I think I know someone else who can fit the criteria.


but yeah.
i'm not gunna go there.
it's not worth it.
If hes not looking for anything than I'm not going to invest more than I have.

I need to focus on me.

I <3 glee.

I have nothing really to say
things are crazy more likke bad at home

knot is still present it my tummy.

I want that to leave.

ew.

oh yeah my phone is off.
i'm poor.



this is my life right now=jfglkfdjlkgfdjslkgjdflkgjdlkfg and i'm not exaggerating anything
:(

I feel so dirty
so filthy
like a sleaze.
like a whore

is that bad?

It's all my fault
I didn't have control
I just let it happen

I know who I really am

I'm not like that sober
but when i'm drunk things just happen and I make mistakes.


no im not talking about sex,
god if that was what I was talking about I think I would just spend all day in the shower trying to scrub the filth off of me.

my stomach is in one big knot
and i just feel so dirty.

I just want it to go away.

yeeah

waiting for Art
I hope it's fun
if it's a bore I will fall asleep
oh man I think  we have slides
shit

haha

I got a text on my phone
asking something about if my mom was home

Idk who it was. I responded saying what I knew.
I think its my mom's friend

haha idk It could be a stalker I would never know.


haha ok I think i'm done for now.

I'll be your girl, backstage at your show,
Velvet ropes and guitars, yeah 'cause you're my rockstar,
In between the sets, eyeliner and cigarettes
-Paparazzi

I'm better today
not pissed off anymore, haha.

Wellz I have school tomorrow
I really like my art class, Thursday was a good day, a lot of laughing.

HOUSE is on tonight!!!
yay
i fucking love that show.

House and glee are my shows this year.

glee=love
house=wish i was a hard ass who doesn't give a flying fuck.

excuse my language. i like the word fuck


OH ive been wearing TWO shoes.
i got so tired of the boot that i was like "NOPE"

yeah.
I'm okay
not super
just okay

Sometimes people really piss me off

so let me be mad for a day or two.

too bad the people that actually care have moved away.

I am my own person
I make my own decsisons

I made the decsison to drop my English 1A class
though it may not be the right one
its the right one for me at the moment.


When i'm ready i'm ready, right now I am not
and the only person that needs to understand that is me.

I'm just stick of people telling me that I'm wrong
that i'm not making good choices.

well truthfully i'm tired of doing what other people want
I need to do what I want, and figure shit out for myself.


okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay



right now I am at the JC in the library
just chilling
starving but to lazy to go to Taco Bell to get something to eat.
Did you know i'm in love with glee?
well if your asking yourself "What is glee?"
I suggest, you look it up on Hulu and watch it.

i'm okay
ive been really stressed and brain dead.

i just dont know anymore

I need to make my own choices and stop caring about what other people say, or think.

I need to drop English 1A and take it next semester, with a different teacher and maybe a friend in my class...


everyone tells me to stick out
but why stay in a class that i'm going to fail


i'm not motivated
the teacher is not what i like

i spend most of the class fighting to stay awake.

golly i dont know what to do.

lets just say okay
i'm so stressed
well not really
i'm just being lazy
i have SO much hw
and i guess stopping to post on LJ will help it get done faster.

I will not put this all off next time haha
opps

I need a BIG Drill Sargent to stand behind me to yell at me
well maybe not
he may just end up making me cry.

haha oh boyz
i'll post later when i'm done to say shit about me


this is just another form of me procrastinating on my hw.

I don't know what to say

i had fun.

I was hella sick all night but couldn't throw up, it's a horrible feelings.

I'm going to stay away from Jose Cuervo

haha did some things
haah

whatever, it was fun.

it doesn't help myself regretting what is in the past.
soo yeah haha